Have you ever wondered if you were in faith because you had thoughts of doubt pop in your head? This has happened to many people I have talked to over the years. They will be standing on one of God’s promises and then they have a thought hit them like, “What if this doesn’t work? What if God doesn’t come through?”
When they have that thought, they wonder if they are really in faith. If you’ve ever had anything like this happen to you, take a look at Matthew 28:16-17:
16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.
The eleven disciples certainly had faith in Jesus. They had walked with Him for three years and heard His teachings, and saw His miracles. They saw Him be crucified on the cross and then they saw the empty tomb. After His resurrection Jesus appeared to them multiples and taught them about the kingdom of God for 40 days. The believed in Jesus. This is why Matthew 28:17 says they worshipped Him.
This passage then goes on to say that even as they worshipped Him, some doubted. Think about that. The eleven certainly had faith or they wouldn’t have worshipped, but they still had questions. I have no clue what those questions were as the Bible doesn’t say, but I can only imagine since Jesus pretty much violated everything they ever knew about life, part of their hearts hadn’t caught up with what they knew to be intellectually true.
Think about it, all eleven disciples were Jews raised under the Mosaic law. They were indoctrinated in the 10 commandments, circumcision, the ceremonial law, washings, sabbaths, the whole nine yards. Jesus taught them He fulfilled the law and prophets and did radical things that violated their customs like heal people on the sabbath. Even though the eleven saw the miracles, they had over 20 years of religious training that told them everything Jesus was doing was wrong. That religious training had to get deep in their heart even while they were in the process of renewing their mind to a new way of life.
On top of all that, first century Jews believed when the Messiah came, He would overthrow the Romans. They believed He would be a conquering king, not a suffering servant. They were looking for a physical kingdom, not a kingdom in people’s hearts. What I want you to see is Jesus contradicted all of their expectations. This is why the some of the eleven could have doubts even while they worshipped.
Maybe you can see yourself in the disciples. Maybe you were taught by religion that God doesn’t heal anymore. Later in the life, you found out that God is good and He is the Healer who wants you well, but occasionally you still have doubts. Old religious thought patterns creep in and even though you intellectually know these thoughts are wrong, your heart still has doubts. When that happens, what do you do?
You worship. Notice, in this passage, all of the disciples worshipped in spite of their doubts. Don’t let what you don’t know or don’t understand keep you from doing what you do know to be true. We all have questions and we all have accusing thoughts. If I let every question or accusing thought I have keep me from doing that which I know to be true, I’d never worship. Worship is about surrender. It’s surrendering to the One who has all of the answers even before He gives them to you. As they stayed in the presence of Jesus and worshipped in spite of their doubts, Jesus then spoke:
18 “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.
Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. When Jesus spoke, faith hit their hearts. He declared He now had all authority and then commissioned the eleven to disciple nations. I don’t know if that immediately cleared up all of their doubts or if that happened at a later date, but what I do know is ten of the eleven died martyrs deaths and John was boiled in oil on Patmos for preaching Jesus. Whatever doubts they had, they stayed in the presence of Jesus and worshipped and they lived out His final instructions. Their doubts didn’t cancel out their faith.
What I want to encourage you to do is live in the presence of Jesus every day. Stay in His word, be in church, and worship. When I say worship, I partly mean sing songs, but I really mean have a heart of surrender in all you do. As you stay in the presence of Jesus, you’ll position yourself to hear the next instructions you need to carry out His plan for your life. Going back to the example above about healing, as you stay in the presence of Jesus, as He speaks, He’ll create faith in your heart that will drive out any doubt.
I hope this article encouraged you. If you’d like to learn more, check out this message I taught at Grace Life Church.
